Restroom Revelations

Invisibility, secrecy, and quietness are all good when you are young. I came to understand this when the Mike sunk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkBDnZqNwIQ This was the big bad back in the day.  They did sea trials, and she didn't pass.  I remember my frustration at the time because we could have saved so many, but the Russians had such distrust that had been fostered over the years, that they wouldn't let us near.  I think not all hands were lost, but we could have helped.  I remember watching, helpless, while this occurred. That is when I realized how much ego sucks. Here I am so many years later.  If I hear one more time that it does no good to mourn, when you could be doing something..blah blah blah.  I could just scream. I am doing something.  I am honoring the lost.  I honor the living too, as much as they allow me. Most folks are too busy with themselves and judging others to recognize it until it is too late.  Such is...

Words have the ability to create a picture so strong it almost feels real. You can read words and almost feel the loving caress of a lover, or hear the plaintive cry of a cat. You can tell yourself.  This is real.  This is real.  And, it is..almost. When the face of reality rears its ugly head, you cry in despair and frustration because you almost forgot about it. Almost. Devastatingly disappointed because you dared hope once again. You live for the seconds and minutes where love is almost real and the pain is almost gone. You then square your shoulders to resettle the burden of pain, put on your brightest smile to hide it from the world, and go about the rest of your life as if there was nothing wrong.  You almost convince yourself it's true.

Love...the thing that has been a subject of philosophy and music and religion and all of that. What is love?  How do we recognize it?  What do you DO with it?  Is it a noun?  Is it a verb? I don't know that I can answer those questions any better than anybody else.  I can only attempt to explain what it means to me..how it defines me. The Ancient Greeks tell us that there are eight different types of love .  You can feel a combination of those with almost anyone you meet. Love is not a bad or shameful thing.  Society teaches us that it is, especially in certain instances. Society is wrong. The proverbial they say that if you are married, you aren't supposed to have any kind of love for anyone else of the opposite sex ever again. That once you enter into a marriage contract..that love is considered "true" love, and all others are false? How impossibly unrealistic is this, seriously? The heart feels what the heart feels. Besides all t...

To me, the highest form of love is to make people feel comfortable enough that they feel free to be whomever they are in that moment.  

I really hate to write these types of posts, but the love I felt for this individual demands it. The year was 1987.  I was 19 years old, married to my first husband and in "A" school, in the Navy. The gentleman that is the subject of this post was first my A school instructor, then he was my lover, and friend. It was one of those unexpected connections. I honestly had no idea he felt anything for me beyond being a student until the night of the graduation party from A school. I didn't realize I felt anything for him, either.  Prior to that, I was merely grateful for his help in guiding me to safety after a particularly bad night with my now ex-husband. You see, one night my husband held a gun to my head all night, and threatened to kill my family.  I knew my brother, who was only 15, was going to be home alone the next day while I was at work, and I was scared out of my mind. My soul was as battered and bruised as my body. Wayne took me through the ...

It occurs to me that if we create our own hell, by contrast, we create our own heaven.  I know this theme has been explored before, but these are my own words. Where does it start…with a simple decision?   According to any religion and most philosophies, this is exactly how it starts.  The next step involves gathering the tools you need to create your ideal persona, I suppose.  This is mostly takes the form of ideas, attitude changes, people, and knowledge. The goal is to merge with the persona and become exactly who you want to be. Consider, though, that sometimes the tools to learn these lessons aren’t readily available. When we get frustrated at lack of progress, maybe we should be a little kinder to ourselves. All of life is a series of events and choices.  Sometimes we have to choose between a shit sandwich and a shit hoagie.   I propose that every person is a study of their successes.  So many times we look at our ...

Sometimes you meet a person; a person who winds up being very special.  A person, who, in an instant can insinuate themselves into your mind and you think, wow! It is sometimes human nature to wonder...what if I had known this person 10 years ago, or 5..or 2. Wrong way to think.  Let me tell you why. You weren't the same people at those points in life.  It took all of your life experience, learning, loving, all of that to bring you to where you are today. When you love a person, you love all that brought them to be whom you love.  Without their life experiences to shape them, they would be different people and therefore not the one you love or the one you have that deep connection with. People come into our lives at the right time.  It's up to us to recognize it and cherish that time.

Six actual posts.  I'm just rocking and rolling here. Every day I get up and stare at the blank page. One of my favorite authors says you have to write through all the emotions...and so I shall try. This isn't going to be pretty, but at the same time it will be beautiful, I hope.

It's an age old question.  Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? I think that art imitates life, personally.  You have to have a model for your art. That is why it behooves us to get out and experience as much of life as is humanly possible. It keeps you well rounded, and gives an outlet for art ...which is the ultimate power... creation. There is also that exposure to different viewpoints and opinions. The other thing we never bespeak of, but is absolutely true, is that art is immortality.  When you create something, it stays long after you are gone. This thought is comforting after a certain age, and life experience. You only get one life.  Make it count.  Make the art.