Games
I think I was sixteen years old or so when I realized that people sucked. I couldn't wait to grow up and be an adult because I mistakenly believed that adults didn't play childish games.
I was wrong. They merely get better at it.
I remain naïve and hopeful, personally. It's my greatest tragedy and my greatest beauty.
Here's the dirty little secret. I have no faith in people's words anymore. I don't believe you when you say you love me. It's easier that way.
When I was 22 I fell in love with a man. I loved him with every fiber of my being. We lived together for eight months. I took care of his child like he was my own.
Then one day I came home and he was gone. It didn't appear that way at first glance, the rum was still there, the pile of clothes in his chair, but he was gone.
No explanation, no nothing. As if that time had not existed at all.
Turns out he was engaged to someone else the whole time. I found this out from someone else. To say that I was devastated, would be the understatement of the century.
To add insult to injury, he pretended like I didn't even exist; that we had never spent time together. He acted like he didn't even know me.
He tracked me down a year or so later after I had transferred back stateside and wanted to get back together. He married the girl, and it turns out she used him. It turns out she was gay.
I took no joy in this when he told me. I still loved him, but sometimes love just isn't enough.
That remains, today, the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me. It put in me a wildness that will never go away.
The worst thing you can do to a person is render them invisible.
I expect people to leave, walk away, and never look back...as if I never existed at all.
I was wrong. They merely get better at it.
I remain naïve and hopeful, personally. It's my greatest tragedy and my greatest beauty.
Here's the dirty little secret. I have no faith in people's words anymore. I don't believe you when you say you love me. It's easier that way.
When I was 22 I fell in love with a man. I loved him with every fiber of my being. We lived together for eight months. I took care of his child like he was my own.
Then one day I came home and he was gone. It didn't appear that way at first glance, the rum was still there, the pile of clothes in his chair, but he was gone.
No explanation, no nothing. As if that time had not existed at all.
Turns out he was engaged to someone else the whole time. I found this out from someone else. To say that I was devastated, would be the understatement of the century.
To add insult to injury, he pretended like I didn't even exist; that we had never spent time together. He acted like he didn't even know me.
He tracked me down a year or so later after I had transferred back stateside and wanted to get back together. He married the girl, and it turns out she used him. It turns out she was gay.
I took no joy in this when he told me. I still loved him, but sometimes love just isn't enough.
That remains, today, the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me. It put in me a wildness that will never go away.
The worst thing you can do to a person is render them invisible.
I expect people to leave, walk away, and never look back...as if I never existed at all.
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